Mid 20s man and woman in fast food uniforms working behind counter while deliberately ignoring each other

Working With an Ex: How to Stay Professional (Even When It’s Hard)

3 min read

Working with an ex is a different kind of breakup.

You don’t get clean distance. You don’t get silence. You don’t get to fully detach.

If you’re searching working with an ex, you’re probably trying to figure out how to keep your job — and your dignity.

1. Accept That It Will Feel Uncomfortable at First

No matter how mature both of you are, there will be tension.

You may feel:

  • Awkwardness in meetings
  • Emotional spikes during casual interactions
  • Jealousy if they talk about dating
  • Resentment resurfacing

This doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means the attachment hasn’t fully dissolved.

2. Keep Communication Professional and Clear

Mid 20s former couple in fast food uniforms crossing paths at work while avoiding eye contact

When working with an ex, structure helps.

  • Stick to work-related topics
  • Use email or formal channels when possible
  • Avoid private emotional conversations at work
  • Keep interactions concise and neutral

Professional boundaries protect emotional boundaries.

3. Don’t Use Work as an Emotional Testing Ground

It’s tempting to read into everything.

  • Did they look at me longer?
  • Are they being cold?
  • Are they trying to make me jealous?

At work, assume professionalism — not hidden meaning.

If you find yourself overanalyzing every interaction, you may relate to Can’t Stop Thinking About My Ex.

4. Set Internal Boundaries

You may not be able to avoid them physically — but you can limit emotional exposure.

  • Don’t check their social media during work hours
  • Avoid personal conversations after meetings
  • Don’t linger after necessary interactions
  • Keep conversations task-focused

Detachment in shared environments requires discipline.

5. If They Start Dating Someone at Work

This is often the hardest part.

You may feel blindsided, even if the breakup was mutual.

You can feel hurt and still act professionally.

If this becomes overwhelming, consider:

  • Requesting project reassignment
  • Creating more physical distance at work
  • Having a calm boundary conversation if necessary

Should You Ever Reconcile While Working Together?

It happens.

But it only works if:

  • The original issues were genuinely resolved
  • Both people communicate clearly
  • Professional boundaries remain intact
  • The relationship doesn’t affect workplace performance

If you’re unsure whether reconciliation is wise at all, read: Exes Getting Back Together.

When It’s Too Much

If working with your ex is:

  • Damaging your performance
  • Triggering constant anxiety
  • Creating workplace conflict
  • Reopening emotional wounds daily

You may need to consider a transfer, department change, or job shift.

Sometimes protecting your mental health is more important than maintaining proximity.

Final Thought

Working with an ex requires maturity, boundaries, and emotional restraint.

You don’t have to pretend it doesn’t hurt.

You just have to handle it in a way that protects your future.